The 5 Love Languages

Gabe and I recently started attending a class at our church based on the book The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. We had both read it previously, but before we even knew each other, so when the opportunity came up for us to read it together, and go to class for conversation, I was excited about it. If you're not familiar with the book, Dr. Chapman is a marriage counselor who uses the example that we all have 'love tanks', and that when we're functioning on low, or even worse, empty, we have a hard time functioning at all, and it is difficult to contribute love to your marriage. He explains what he believes are the 5 different 'languages' that we interpret love in: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Gifts. According to him, every person has a primary love language that they give and receive love the best in, and that when we are not aware of our spouses favorite way to receive love, it is very difficult to make them know that they are in fact loved. For instance, imagine that your love language is quality time, and your spouse's language is gifts, they may not understand why you don't appreciate the flowers they had delivered to your workplace as much as they imagined you would, and you just wish they'd spend an hour talking with you and don't get why that seems so impossible. I think that this can definitely improve a relationship- even i you're not having a rough time in your marriage, I think there's always room for improvement.
One thing that I found interesting is that Gabe and I had both changed- dramtically- from what our primary love languages used to be. We were going through the introduction in our class on Sunday, and we were asked if we already had an idea of what our language was, and if we thought that it had anything to do with the family culture that we grew up in. I had always imagined that receving gifts was my love language, and I believe that it once was, but I could not believe, as I was taking the little profile quiz, how much that had changed. I realized that not only are receiving gifts not my primary, but they are not even in my top 3 out of 5! Gabe has changed, too. When we were at class on Sunday, he said that his was acts of service and words of affirmation...words of affirmation is still in his top 3, but he actually scored the lowest on acts of service(so did I- I got a big fat ZERO, which will probably not surprise those of you who know me in real life). What is nice is that, at least for this season in our lives, Gabe and I share the same top 3 languages. Not necessarily in the same order, but we both scored highest in words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch, so our 'communicating' is kindof easy right now. We place extreme value on the same things, however, by doing the quiz together, I did notice some things that I need to work on. For instance, one of the statements geared toward Gabe was asking how it felt when his wife baked a pie for him, or made dinner. Um, he didn't know how to answer because those are not things he can remember me doing for quite. some. time, people. And that is not his fault, it's mine. Sure, he enjoys cooking way more than I do, and I usually do laundry and keep up with other chores, but seriously? We've been married for almost 3 and a half years, and my cooking time has been very limited. So, my goal is bake him a pie this weekend. I won't promise that it will be the best he's eaten, but he deserves to be nurtured with my love, even if he has to spit it out and chase the awful taste with a gallon of milk. He's my hubby, and I love him enough to do that to him. ;)

*Do you know what your love language is? Have you read the book? If you leave a comment on this post between now and Sunday, the 4th, I will choose one name to receive a copy. It may be used(I ordered a few from amazon and did not realize that they were written in already), but nevertheless, I believe that they are a good resource, even if you're not married. I think that this book really helps you to relate to others and to be a more loving person in general. Speaking of which, stay tuned, because I will be sharing another post with you(probably not quite as lengthy as this) later this week on an example of someone that I believe has the love languages down in her life. She is someone that everybody loves to be around, and always feels better about themselves after spending time with her. Lucky me, I get to spend next weekend with her! So excited!!

Experiences and Learning

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
- Barry LePatner

What's something that was hard to learn but you're glad that you did? I'll go first-

Solitude was hard for me to get used to after growing up in the large family I was born into, but I have to say that I now really enjoy a lot of quiet time.

What about you?

Um, I'm Not Sure How To Say This....

Change is inevitable, growth is intentional...

-Glenda Cloud

...but I am not sure if I'll be around here as often as I recently have been. I've been thinking about it alot, and I want to be an intentional person. I want to live my life intentionally, and not just 'arrive'. I want to be present, to be where I am because it's where I believe in being. I want my life to touch others and to really mean something. I don't want to post here every day with a half-hearted post instead of two or three times a week or, perhaps only once a week ocassionally, with words that i really mean and feel. I don't want to have 15 hobbies that I only ocassionally get to have fun with. I want to pull the weeds out of my life and start over- love who I love, do what I do, and be who I am on purpose.


How about you? What do you want to do or be? Who do you want to be or love?

Slight Misunderstanding

So, I'm still feeling a little crummy, and wasn't planning on posting today, but after this little email exchange with Gabe, I think you'll understand why I just had to share this:


I had emailed him a gorgeous photo yesterday and he replied with this-

Gabe: Nice camera! Let’s get one. :)

Me: I’m ready,



I think.



I’m scared, and in a sense it feels like saying ok to having a baby, too, but with just a little less commitment. :)

Gabe: OMG!



I just glanced at your email and thought you were saying you wanted to have a baby right now!!!


Umm, seriously? Do men really not pay attention? What do you think?

Grateful for Complaining?

I was thinking about a co-worker I have that seems to always be complaining, and the thought struck me that I would absolutely hate to be married to her or have her for my mother. I do not usually enjoy being around this person, nor do a lot of other people. I stopped and made myself think about how I am as a wife, or a daughter, sister, or friend, and I prayed right then that God would help me to change my ways, because I often have the tendency to whine about things when they are not to my liking, and I don't want my husband, family, or friends to ever feel the way about me that I feel about this co-worker I have. I want to encourage the people in my life and bless them- there's so much garbage in this world from others- why not try to swim against the current and actually change somebody's life?


What do you think is your one big fault that you're trying to get over? What is something that you see in others that you do not want to develop in your own life?

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Too Bad, So Sad...

So, about that rodeo? We didn't end up going because Yours Truly woke up with a cold Friday morning, and I have been battling the germs ever since. Sleepy, weak, stuffy- you name it, I've been there. We're going to attempt to go next weekend, so hopefully, I'll have some photos to share. Until then, if you don't hear from me very often, don't worry too much. I've just been going to sleep very early and staying in bed for a LONG time. I'm pretty sure it's what a lot of people call resting. ;)

Here's Another Favorite...

Who Me, A Cowgirl?

Gabe asked me out on a date for Saturday night. To something these westerner's call a RODEO. Then, he thought he should share photos of mutton busting with me. Trust me, you don't really want to know, but if you must know, you can click here to read about it. I think it looks abusive, and have informed him that no child of mine would ever, EVER bust a mutton, or whatever it they're doing, but nonetheless, I'll go and be a bystander. So, I guess what this midwestern girl is trying to get at is this: What do you do at a rodeo? How should I dress? How should I act? I really have no stinkin' clue! Oh yeah, it gets even better! There's a concert following the rodeo with Diamond Rio, whom I'd never heard of before, but I'm assuming they're country. I am not a country lover like most people are. Anything else, but please, do not make me listen to that stuff. Do you see why all of this is such a big deal to me? I am intimidated, to say the least.

***Just to warn you, in case I'm not around a ton in the next week or so, please do not be alarmed. We are getting things ready for when my sisters are here in a few weeks, and so my internet may or may not be connected. I'll be back to normal soon, I hope!

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.
- Peter Ustinov

A Cup Of Jo

Hi all! Hope your weekend was great! I've been meaning to share this with you all for a few weeks, and just kept forgetting! I found the blog, A Cup Of Jo, right around the time that the author got married, and to fill in for her while they were on their honeymoon, she asked several bloggers to write a paragraph or two of their best marriage advice. It was so nice to read the encouraging wors they had to say...Anyway, I encourage you to hop over there and scroll back through her archives to read the lovely words and encouragement. I don't think you'll regret it!

Rawr!

Thank You

The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.
-Edwin Schlossberg

This is what makes me want to write, what drives me. I realize that I am not the most eloquent writer, nor the most experienced or world-travelled, but I do believe that I am unique, as we all are, and I know that even in the midst of our 'uniqueness', there's so much to learn from each other. I love a connectedness (is that even a word?) of this blogland, and have most certainly jumped in whole-heartedly because of the connections- the feeling of not being completely alone in this world, and the fact that maybe, just maybe, someone else has felt how I do at some point in time, even if they do live in Timbucktoo(not sure about that one, either. ;))

I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you. Thank you to those who read and share, because it really does mean a lot to me. I may never get to write a book- this may be it for me, and that would be a-ok because I really like this little community. I like reading your stories, seeing photos of your kids or the projects that you are working on. I enjoy asking questions, trying to figure this life out, and actually hearing what others have to say- it may give me more to think about, but I think that is a blessing, despite the fact that I have to think more. ;)

Because

Ok.

Because I'm lazy,
because I'm tired,
because I haven't even finished unpacking,
because I'm going away again tomorrow*,
because I want to go out and enjoy time with my husband tonight,
because I'm sore from doing the 30 Day Shred last night,
because I can think of a lot of other things,


you can go here and here to see some of the other photos we took on our trip. I should have the rest up by Sunday evening, not that I expect you to go browse through the over 300 photos I took in 4 days or anything. They're just there if you want to see them, that's all.



*I'm leaving tomorrow evening for the retreat I spoke about in that post a few weeks back, so if you don't hear from me, you know why. :)


Have a great weekend!

Wink

Days 2, 3, &4 will be posted in the next few days. I didn't forget, just have been busy relaxing. *wink*

Photoshoot With My Boy

Success

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
- Bill Cosby

Maybe this has been my problem....


Wait, I think I stopped trying to please everybody, too. :)



What's your key to success?

Day One

We went to see El Rancho Hotel where the stars used to stay...


Gabe pretended to be an Indian Chief at some teepees we saw on the side of the road...I'm not even kidding about that!


We saw a big rock with a natural hole in it called Windowrock...


We saw the Meteor Crater somewhere in Arizona...


And this is also taken at the crater site- I thought it was SO pretty!

New Things

*I wrote this post a few days ago, as I am on vacation. I hope that you're all enjoying a fun, safe holiday weekend!




So, remember this post? It wasn't too long ago, so I'm assuming you do. Anyway, I just wanted to introduce you to Elizabeth Esther, who is hosting a bit of a blog carnival, if you will, and on the first Saturday of each month, I will (hopefully) be posting my favorite post from the last month, and then linking back to her blog, so we can all meet new friends. Ok. So, back to this post. I'd have to say, that not only does this one mean more to me than the others, but from the response I got, it meant more to you all, too. I want you to know, that while it is something that needs to be maintained daily, I am in a better place than what I have been previously. I am trying things- new things. I realize that I am lacking in coping skills, but am blessed to have a husband that helps me to see that things happen. Life is not always smooth, and I should not expect that by any means. I read this post this morning, and it made me think about who I am and who I want to be- in an encouraging way, not shameful in the least. We are all changing, whether we admit it or not, and if we're not mindful, those changes will be mundane(an oxymoron?). If we live intentionally, as I am trying to do, those changes will affect more than ourselves, and hopefully make things better for others, too. So, before I lose you entirely, I want to encourage you to check out the blog carnival and meet new friends. Who knows, it might just change your life.

Pictures Are Back!

So, I lost the cable for my camera, and as you may have noticed, there have been NO photos here in over a month. In honor of someone giving me a cable, I thought I'd post a few that have been taken over the last month. The first is from the Def Leppard concert we went to last week, then there are a few of the beautiful desert sunset, and I just had to share the other. Gabe and I were driving around after dinner one night, and of course, were downtown, so the streets were all one ways, so we actually drove by the office 3 or 4 times to get that photo. I just couldn't resist. I promise, there was absolutely no editing done to that photo! :)

Make A Difference

I read a post over at Heather's blog today that I wanted to share with you all. Please go check it out and see how you can help to make a difference with just a few seconds of your morning! Thanks, friends!

Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up...

I'm watching the last few episodes of last season's Grey's Anatomy, and just heard and remembered this, and wanted to share.


That's all. I like it, and think it's a good thing to remember.


If I'm not here again, have a great weekend! I'll e around with photos, I'm sure!


Happy Labor Day!

A Few More Quotes...

Never face facts; if you do, you'll never get up in the morning.
- Marlo Thomas


If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
- Mickey Mantle


Why do writers write? Because it isn't there.
- Thomas Berger

Heart Attack

The following is an email I sent Gabe this morning:






I may or may not have purchased a season pass for Grey’s Anatomy this morning while I should have been getting ready for work.



Don’t worry, though.



It was on sale for $24.99 instead of the usual $39.99. This means I can watch it on Saturdays while you’re at work instead of Thursdays when we’re together. Yeah, I thought you’d like that.

Then I quickly sent this afterward:





And I’ll pay us back with babysitting $$. Promise.


Then I freaked out a little, because I thought for sure that I had just emailed my boss instead of my husband.

I didn't, though. Turns out that even on auto-pilot, I can still remember who my husband is.

I did almost have a heart attack, though.

Oh yeah- I just told him last night that I was not going to get into Grey's again this year. I'm really disciplined, huh? ;)